On December 27th, 1947, the Saturday Evening Post featured a cover of iconic painter Norman Rockwell's "Tired Salesgirl on Christmas Eve." In Rockwell's beloved painting, a dazed sales clerk slumps against a wall with her shoes kicked off amid a scattering of disheveled dolls and wrapping paper remnants. While we may smile at Rockwell's whimsical depiction of one careworn holiday worker, thousands of Americans feel just as worn out during the holiday season without wrapping one gift or attending one party.
These done-in citizens are the family members who go to the needs of aging parents or an ill spouse, relative or family friend every day, all yearlong. By the month of December, many home caregivers feel so weary and overwhelmed with daily duties that the thought of idyllic families enjoying the holidays only adds sadness, depression and resentment. Instead of the last weeks of the year being filled with fond memory-making, many family in-home care providers struggle with feelings of "Bah! Humbug!" from being burdened and isolated from the rest of the celebrating world.
According to Dan Fox, President Right At Home - Palm Springs and Desert Cities for family caregivers the holidays are particularly challenging because they often feel torn between being there fully for their loved one and wanting to be free to enjoy festivities with family and friends . Caregivers can do both and avoid extra stress and negative feelings that tend to surface during the holidays since there are workable solutions fortunately. We see firsthand how important it is for family caregivers not to feel alone or forgotten while the rest of the community celebrates the season when our staff assists a family with adult home care." The following ways are suggested by Fox to family caregivers who can lighten their load from now through New Year's:
Time to change your expectations. Unmet expectations during the busy holidays often causes hopelessness and anger. Instead of setting the standards far too high for caregiving and decorating the house, sending cards, buying gifts, baking goodies, etc., simply reduce the demands to enable you to feel less stressed during the holiday season.
Don't forget to look inwards and be aware of their emotions. Being a caregiver for a relative can be a tough position to be in and it is always uncertain how circumstances will work out. It can take an emotional toll on everyone involved. It is an unavoidable fact that those needing care will never likely be able to be active enough to participate in activities like they used to, and this can hurt those who love them dearly.
Do not deny "good enough." If the tree lights are uneven this year, tell yourself that it's good enough and okay. If you only have time to bake one round of cookies, it's good enough. If you need to send your holiday cards after January 1, it's good enough. For family caregivers already stretched thin, perfect isn't always best.
There should be no "shoulds" in the holiday celebrations. Do what makes you happy. Don't tell yourself you should do anything that does not bring joy or that is not true to your feelings.
Extend compassion to yourself as well. Compassion and gentleness are gifts family caregivers can give back to themselves. Taking time for regular exercise and leisure activities allows for healthy self-care. For their own holiday wish lists, caregivers might enjoy special treats including nail treatments, massages and restaurant gift cards.
Time to let go. Family caregivers can waste a huge amount of emotional energy wishing circumstances were vastly different for their loved one. A key element to deriving enjoyment from the holidays is to stop trying to make changes. Make a promise to end the year letting go of negative attitudes, relationship tensions and previous mistakes that can adversely interfere with the best care for your beloved aged or ill relative.
Day to day routines of care giving can be exhausting. Family and friends can lessen the burden by providing that much needed break. You may also consider Right at Home for the professional services they provide, and rest assured your loved one is in capable hands.
Even some lightheartedness to the picture-perfect holiday was added by Norman Rockwell, with his cross-eyed sales clerk who survived the Christmas rush. No one was designed to run ragged by doing it all during the holidays, especially family caregivers who choose to narrow their focus on the priceless gifts of extending love and self-sacrifice to another.
These done-in citizens are the family members who go to the needs of aging parents or an ill spouse, relative or family friend every day, all yearlong. By the month of December, many home caregivers feel so weary and overwhelmed with daily duties that the thought of idyllic families enjoying the holidays only adds sadness, depression and resentment. Instead of the last weeks of the year being filled with fond memory-making, many family in-home care providers struggle with feelings of "Bah! Humbug!" from being burdened and isolated from the rest of the celebrating world.
According to Dan Fox, President Right At Home - Palm Springs and Desert Cities for family caregivers the holidays are particularly challenging because they often feel torn between being there fully for their loved one and wanting to be free to enjoy festivities with family and friends . Caregivers can do both and avoid extra stress and negative feelings that tend to surface during the holidays since there are workable solutions fortunately. We see firsthand how important it is for family caregivers not to feel alone or forgotten while the rest of the community celebrates the season when our staff assists a family with adult home care." The following ways are suggested by Fox to family caregivers who can lighten their load from now through New Year's:
Time to change your expectations. Unmet expectations during the busy holidays often causes hopelessness and anger. Instead of setting the standards far too high for caregiving and decorating the house, sending cards, buying gifts, baking goodies, etc., simply reduce the demands to enable you to feel less stressed during the holiday season.
Don't forget to look inwards and be aware of their emotions. Being a caregiver for a relative can be a tough position to be in and it is always uncertain how circumstances will work out. It can take an emotional toll on everyone involved. It is an unavoidable fact that those needing care will never likely be able to be active enough to participate in activities like they used to, and this can hurt those who love them dearly.
Do not deny "good enough." If the tree lights are uneven this year, tell yourself that it's good enough and okay. If you only have time to bake one round of cookies, it's good enough. If you need to send your holiday cards after January 1, it's good enough. For family caregivers already stretched thin, perfect isn't always best.
There should be no "shoulds" in the holiday celebrations. Do what makes you happy. Don't tell yourself you should do anything that does not bring joy or that is not true to your feelings.
Extend compassion to yourself as well. Compassion and gentleness are gifts family caregivers can give back to themselves. Taking time for regular exercise and leisure activities allows for healthy self-care. For their own holiday wish lists, caregivers might enjoy special treats including nail treatments, massages and restaurant gift cards.
Time to let go. Family caregivers can waste a huge amount of emotional energy wishing circumstances were vastly different for their loved one. A key element to deriving enjoyment from the holidays is to stop trying to make changes. Make a promise to end the year letting go of negative attitudes, relationship tensions and previous mistakes that can adversely interfere with the best care for your beloved aged or ill relative.
Day to day routines of care giving can be exhausting. Family and friends can lessen the burden by providing that much needed break. You may also consider Right at Home for the professional services they provide, and rest assured your loved one is in capable hands.
Even some lightheartedness to the picture-perfect holiday was added by Norman Rockwell, with his cross-eyed sales clerk who survived the Christmas rush. No one was designed to run ragged by doing it all during the holidays, especially family caregivers who choose to narrow their focus on the priceless gifts of extending love and self-sacrifice to another.
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